So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Found your dick twin last night
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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