everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
