in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It's like God shit irony all over that family
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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