WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
