he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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