I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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