You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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