How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
