I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
