i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
