I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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