My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
