Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
