Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Randomize
