just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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