White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
is that a dick in a sweater?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
