Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
