she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
