i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
tell your sister to shave her snatch
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I understand Curling. That high.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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