ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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