My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize