I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
