I want to make a zoo with you.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
