I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
