we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
