ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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