Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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