you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
