I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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