Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
