She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
