Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
