you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
