And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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