If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
