i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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