is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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