sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I need water and some morals
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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