and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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