your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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