Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
