Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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