Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
