I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize