dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
