david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
