just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize