Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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