After last night, I could never be a politician.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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