I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just had sex on a roof
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
