I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
