Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We were destined to go to rehab together
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
