She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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