Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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