He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
