I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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