Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
