I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
