is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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