Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
