Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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