Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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