wakey wakey hands off snakey
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
