turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
