a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
