Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize